Not Waving But Rolling

Marketing guru and general brain box Seth Godin did two pieces a month or so ago on the subject of "picking yourself". The point being that it is an increasingly risky strategy to try and get someone else to pick you for a key job. Your pitch is drowned out by millions of others, and the key people actually have less power now to help you. Good stuff, and well worth a read.

But he finished off with the snide jibe: "the Grateful Dead or the Bay City Rollers?".

Oi!

myaccount@gmail.com

Let me add my small voice to the avalanche of outrage at your sneer at Scotland's premier boy band.
Especially as they actually illustrate your advice rather well. They picked themselves and spent five years building up their local following before they were ever seen by Tam Paton. And if they hadn't been picked, there is no reason to believe that they wouldn't have carried on as semi pro musicians entertaining the locals for many years. Which I would consider a success.
Of course, the phenomenon of Rollermania was more about clever marketing than music. And that was very actively planned and executed. And had very little to do with the band.
Or was that your point: that when you're picked you become someone else's product?

If so, I apologise for being dense.
Regards,
Will Ross

It's always as well to check your facts before you enter the fray. My intensive researches on Wikipedia confirmed my memory of seeing Bay City Rollers  on the walls of the South Side of Edinburgh well before they shot to fame on Top of the Pops with their tartan accoutrements and general Scottishness. Imagine my delight when I also discovered that the Longmuir brothers started out in 1966 as Saxon. Having suffered throughout my school years as a Sassenach I feel a Mystic Bond.

The name apparently came from Bay City, known for its rolling waves, or Bay City Rollers. And indeed, the wave of pop history rolled on leaving the boys high and dry.

The last word must of course go to Godin. He summed up the aching pointlessness of getting picked for a ride in the locomotive of someone else's gravy train:

Seth Godin May 1

to: me

alas, you were the only one

Memories of the 70s

I’ve never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I’d rather see than be one

Thanks, Jacob!

Waterman

This morning the papers are, conveniently, full of the actor Dennis Waterman.He has spent a lifetime playing soft centred bruisers. Now he has admitted to a weakness that fits his public persona so perfectly that the blogosphere has flocked to the obvious conclusion.

Bastard!

He lashed out at his wife.

And, 14 years later, (and this is what we find utterly inexcusable) had the effrontery to try and explain. Because, of course, "explanation" is just another word for "excuse".

"Twitter" is exactly the right name. Airspace where members of the flock can each chirrup their atom of identity to one another: "I'm here";"I'm with you"; "Me too". Each linking in their blog, each chipping in their boilerplate outrage at a miserable, commonplace tragedy in someone else's private life.

Although there have been surprisingly sensitive discussions in the comments to the (rather predictable) post in the feminist blog "the f word". And I'm coming round to the Daily Mail.

My take?

Marriage is hard. And two perfectly decent people who love each other can still develop an abusive relationship. Over the years, the conversations that you have again and again wear paths in your brain that bypass your rational defences and strike straight at your deepest, darkest triggers. Knowing that your reaction was unacceptable just makes it impossible for you to relate to it. If you're lucky, you learn when to drop whatever you're holding and leave the room. It seems that neither Lenska nor Waterman could do that every time.

The other sadness is that he and his ex wife are still trapped in a world of blame. The only way that they can live with themselves is by wrapping the other in a scab of blame and forgetting about them. But I suspect that each feels that they have been wronged in a way that can never really be put right. And they will carry this nagging pain to their graves. If they could acknowledge their own contributions (if only to themselves), it becomes a shared mistake which they went through together and survived. Part of what they are now: sadder, perhaps, but wiser.

But that's a lot to ask. Like I said, marriage is hard.

A Winter Warmer

Now that I am established as a world renowned whisky expert, it is time to share my deep knowledge on other Scottish  delicacies. Winter draws on (oops, hope I didn't offend anyone there?). What do we all need more than a warming dish of porridge to keep us going through the day?

I was brought up on porridge, but memories of soaking the oatmeal overnight, or even gently simmering rolled oats in milk in the morning, just didn't fit my rather undisciplined lifestyle. If only I'd known that Technology provided the answer 30 years ago.

So without further ado:

Three Minute Fire and Forget Porridge

Ingredients

• 1 ladle rolled oats
• 2 ladles milk
• 1 pinch salt

Method

• put in microwavable bowl
• mix
• microwave for about 3 minutes depending on size of ladle, power of microwave and, bizarrely, shape of bowl - may take two or three tries before you get it to your taste
• stir
• leave about 30 s
• add milk; extras to taste

extras could include

• golden syrup
• maple syrup
• honey
• raspberries
• whisky (in moderation)

go nuts!
oh yes:

• nuts

Things to do while your porridge cooks

Some of these can be done together. Some can't. Start the day as you will go on, setting and satisfying priorities!

• Feed pets
• Outline blog post
• Rouse children
• Let chickens out
• Stroke one cat properly
• Stroke four cats just enough to reassure them
• Snog wife
• Shave
• Make bed
• Brush a loveliness or two of ladybirds into a bug jar for wife to show to her kindergarten class
• Read through your task list and set your subconscious to work out today's achievements

P.S. Yes, I know some people spell  it "porage". My friend Po had a habit of writing long, angry emails on a broad range of injustices. I did find a helping of steaming Po rage quite invigorating of a morning.