Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Winter Warmer

Now that I am established as a world renowned whisky expert, it is time to share my deep knowledge on other Scottish  delicacies. Winter draws on (oops, hope I didn't offend anyone there?). What do we all need more than a warming dish of porridge to keep us going through the day?

I was brought up on porridge, but memories of soaking the oatmeal overnight, or even gently simmering rolled oats in milk in the morning, just didn't fit my rather undisciplined lifestyle. If only I'd known that Technology provided the answer 30 years ago.

So without further ado:

Three Minute Fire and Forget Porridge


  • 1 ladle rolled oats
  • 2 ladles milk
  • 1 pinch salt

  • put in microwavable bowl
  • mix
  • microwave for about 3 minutes depending on size of ladle, power of microwave and, bizarrely, shape of bowl - may take two or three tries before you get it to your taste
  • stir
  • leave about 30 s
  • add milk; extras to taste

    extras could include

    • golden syrup
    • maple syrup
    • honey
    • raspberries
    • whisky (in moderation)

    go nuts!
    oh yes:

    • nuts
    Things to do while your porridge cooks

    Some of these can be done together. Some can't. Start the day as you will go on, setting and satisfying priorities!

    • Feed pets
    • Outline blog post
    • Rouse children
    • Let chickens out
    • Stroke one cat properly
    • Stroke four cats just enough to reassure them
    • Snog wife
    • Shave
    • Make bed
    • Brush a loveliness or two of ladybirds into a bug jar for wife to show to her kindergarten class
    • Read through your task list and set your subconscious to work out today's achievements
    P.S. Yes, I know some people spell  it "porage". My friend Po had a habit of writing long, angry emails on a broad range of injustices. I did find a helping of steaming Po rage quite invigorating of a morning.