After you reach the age of six, smearing poo all over yourself becomes less of a sensual delight and more of a health hazard. In fact, our brains eventually develop a deep rooted loathing of even comparatively harmless dirt and grime.
But dirt, grime and dog poo (and, when our gods and plumbers abandon us, even our own poo) all need to be dealt with. This is a major cause not only of physical illness but also of intolerable mental stress.
If only there was some way of stopping the grime actually touching you while you dispose of it humanely.